Some Funny US Bumper Stickers


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  • Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
  • 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?
  • When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
  • If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
  • Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
  • I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  • Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
  • Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  • For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  • OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  • Black holes are where God divided by zero.
  • I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
  • If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to be silent?
  • If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • Where do forest rangers go to get away form it all?
  • Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
  • Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
  • If You Drink, Don't Park - Accidents Cause People.
  • Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
  • If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
  • Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
  • If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
  • My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
  • Thank You For Pot Smoking.
  • To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
  • If At First You Don't Succeed ... blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
  • Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
  • If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
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