Some Funny US Bumper Stickers



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  • Support Cannibalism-EAT ME!
  • God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
  • I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
  • Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
  • Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
  • Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
  • 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
  • EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
  • If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
  • If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
  • Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
  • Just say no! to sex with pro-lifers.
  • Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
  • Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
  • If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
  • I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. And tomorrow isn't looking good either.
  • I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
  • Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
  • Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places.
  • Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
  • Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?"
  • Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you a man who can't get his pants off!
  • Motherhood: Another reason why we need God's constant help.
  • Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
  • Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  • Having an out of body experience. Back in five.
  • Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
  • If at first you don't succeed, to heck with it.
  • Do unto others, then run...
  • Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.
  • I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
  • Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
  • If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
  • It's gonna be like threading a needle with a haystack.
  • My heart's in the right place. I know, cuz I hid it there...

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