- Support Cannibalism-EAT ME!
- God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
- I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's
- Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
- Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's
an amusement park.
- EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
- If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
- Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
- Just say no! to sex with pro-lifers.
- Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
- Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and
- If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
- I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. And tomorrow isn't looking good either.
- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
- Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
- Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places.
- Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?"
- Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you a man who can't get his pants off!
- Motherhood: Another reason why we need God's constant help.
- Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
- Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- Having an out of body experience. Back in five.
- Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
- If at first you don't succeed, to heck with it.
- Do unto others, then run...
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.
- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
- Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
- It's gonna be like threading a needle with a haystack.
- My heart's in the right place. I know, cuz I hid it there...
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